Men react to their wife’s pregnancy in various manners. Where some are beyond happy, others are scared as they weren’t prepared for it. While there is a sort who is clueless regarding how to respond to it; they can’t decide if it is good news or a bad.
Well, becoming a father is a blessing. It truly is. You and the love of your life make a mini version of yourselves, doesn’t it sound just beautiful to you? There are couples around the globe who have been trying so hard to have a baby and unfortunately they cannot conceive it due to multiple reasons. You are amongst the blessed ones and should be grateful about it.
Pregnancy is a life changing experience for both you and your wife. However, it is only her who has to go through all the physical and emotional changes. Don’t let her face all of it alone. Be her constant support through this pregnancy. And how can you do that? Let’s find out!
Attend Doctor’s Appoinment With Her
Regular checkups at gynaecologist become a routine when your wife is pregnant. And it is highly advised that they shouldn’t miss them. How you can play a part in this is that go along with her. Drive her to the hospital, wait with her at reception and get her checked up. This is going to make your wife feel really good. This gesture will show your involvement and interest towards the baby which is to be born yet.
Going with her on every appointment might not be possible for you all the time. In that case, remind her of it and talk about how it went. Your goal here is to make her feel that you are equally happy and excited about it.
Bear Your Wife’s Mood Swings
Before you begin to help your wife with the “mood swings”, you need to be sure of what they actually are.
The peak time when your wife will be experiencing mood swings is in the first trimester of pregnancy, that is, the early weeks and during the third trimester when her body is getting prepared to deliver the baby. So, keep in mind these two time periods and be prepared from your end before they arrive.
There are a couple of reasons behind this indefinable mood swings. It can be the physical stress, pain or fatigue your wife is bearing or because of the hormonal changes that are taking place in her system. If you can recall, these mood swings are an enhanced version of the ones you wife throws when she is menstruating.
One day she is going to be all happy, the other may be a sad one, then there is going to be a whole lot of crying and of course anger. Uncontrollable annoyance. You have to face it with her. If she shouts at you or gets mad at you don’t backfire it at her. Stay calm and try to calm down her too. Act according to her mood and listen to what she is saying.
She needs your attention. Undivided attention and she is not to be blamed for it. Whatever pain she is going through, she is doing it for both of you and being the father of the unborn baby, it is your job to prioritise her above everything and everyone.
You can say that while making a baby, she becomes one herself too. Therefore, look after her as you look after a toddler.
Feed her cravings
If your wife is pregnant and she is not having unusual and untimely cravings, are you sure she is pregnant? Pregnancy and food cravings go side by side and she is isn’t doing it on purpose. Her changing hormones are making her do that. Be her superhero and go get her whatever she is craving for, no matter what time of the day.
Love Her Changing Body
Let’s say your wife is that stay fit, go gym sort of. She loves to stay toned and is always having a close look at her diet and exercising routine. She freaks out whenever she gains slight weight. And during pregnancy, she is gaining loads of it. Can you imagine how much she would be freaking out deep inside even if she does not express it. Understand this without her going verbal about it and show her that you love her in every shape; let it be the lean toned her or fat her.
How can you show that?
You can photograph her baby bump each month and tell save it as a memory. Encourage her to you know get dressed up for the shoot. Click her pictures and tell her how pretty she looks with the baby bump.
Other than this, you can surprise her with pretty new clothes to take her out on dates.
Make her fall in love with the new body and make sure she confidently carries it.
Don’t Be The Cause of Stress
It is always good to share problems and concerns with your partner. This shows how compatible and loyal you guys are towards each other. This act is always appreciated but when your wife is expecting, make sure you don’t break a bad news to her which you feel will stress her out. Stress is not only hazardous for her, but can be fatal for the baby too. If you come across any issue during this time period, try not to involve her in it. Try to keep her relax and happy.
Communicate
You can only be a good parent to your kid if your relationship with your wife is strong. And that can be achieved by communication. Talking things out, exchanging concerns, getting to know of each other’s perspective is so very important.
Firstly, take about what comforts her. The kind of help she needs. The support she is expecting. Make her comfortable in expressing whatever she is expecting from your end and try to meet them.
Secondly, talk about pregnancy. Share your thoughts and ideas. Get to know theirs. Talk around each aspect; the problems that you’d face and what have you thought about it like how you’ll manage things at that time. You guys will come up with a lot of creative ideas to solve problems that you might face when the baby comes.
By communicating you will build a comfortable household environment and the fear of becoming a father (if there is any) will also go away and you have already discussed things before hand.
Work On Your Addictions
If you are a smoker and your wife is pregnant with the baby. Try to quit smoking as you are starting a family now and smoker dad isn’t good for the baby. By the time baby is in womb, he/ she is capable of acquiring developmental problems because of the cigarette smoke you are exhaling and your wife inhaling.
Even later in life, your kid is going to see you smoke and believe it to be a good habit. Don’t let them think that way as it is dangerous to health.
Learn About Pregnancy
You have got to spare some time, make an effort on your own and learn about pregnancy overall. This is very important as it will help you in supporting your wife in a much better way.
- Purchase some useful DVDs on pregnancy. Watch them and pick up the important things.
- When you take your wife for check-up; ask questions from gynaecologist. This will clear your concerns regarding pregnancy.
- Take guideline from your friends who have experienced this all. A sincere advice from friend would only help you do great.
- Do your research by reading related articles over internet which covers pregnancy overall. This will prepare you for all the emergency situations.
- Where all these things will help you learn on your own, antenatal classes will prepare you and your partner for labour. The mentor will walk you and wife through the journey of pregnancy. You can learn in the class and later communicate your concerns regarding it. This will strengthen the bond between you two.
Do The Little Things
There is no harm in pampering and spoiling your beautiful wife. You can do several things for her which can help her through pregnancy.
Here is a list of what can be done to make them feel special:
- Be proactive. This is very important. Don’t burden her with the decision making tasks. Take the hold here.
- Grab several essential oils and give your wife a massage before bedtime. She’ll have a good peaceful sleep. Not to forget to give extra time on food massage. Your pregnant wife really needs it.
- It is really hard to sleep with a baby bump. Why not get her a comfy pregnancy pillow?
- Read pregnancy books to your wife. This way you both can learn together and she’ll love it more than you expect.
- Be her helping hand in household chores. Let her get good sleep and serve her breakfast in bed. Sounds good, no?
- Talk to the bump and caress it. This is something which always works its magic. She will appreciate your bonding with the baby.
- Take loads of pictures with her. Not only is it fun but a creative way to document your baby’s growth.
- Be romantic. Take her out on dates; it can be anything: movies, candle light dinner, walks, and ice-cream. Also, you can bring her flowers and cards on your way back from work.
- Be the trendsetter and host your wife’s bridal shower. This will surely leave her speechless.
These things might be little but will mean a lot to your wife. If not all, try to do some for her.
Be Patient
So, the time is here. You are just few days away from holding your little one for the first time. As soon as the labour begins, women become much more vulnerable. These last few days of pregnancy are pretty much tough on them and they need your support the most at this moment. They’ll laugh with you; scream at you, cry, moan or shout. Whatever tantrum your wife is throwing at you, just be patient and don’t take anything personally. It is this unbearable pain that is making her do all this. Just do as she wants; if she wants to stay alone, let her be that way. Don’t force or pressurise her for anything she isn’t willing to do. Also, this is not the time where you should correct her for something wrong she does. I know controlling temper is going to be hard for you at some moments but you got to do it. After all, she is doing it for both of you.
Help Her Deliver The Baby
This one is scary but if you’ll do it, it is going to leave you with the emotion and experience you’ll never be able to describe. Don’t be one of those husbands who wait outside labour or operation theatre to hear the good news. Be amongst those who stand besides their wife, hold their hand tight and help them push. You both will get to see your baby together for the first time and that is what you’ll never forget. That moment. The joy. That is something you need to experience. It is going to bring you two a lot closer than you ever were. Be there and wrap up the journey on a beautiful note.
Simply Love Her
The important thing is to make your partner feel loved, safe and secure. Love her flaws and forgive her for all the trouble she might have put you through during this journey. Acknowledge that this is not only her job but you’re the partner with equal responsibilities. Make it a good environment for your child to be born in. A happy, healthy one.
At the end, the words to live by are “we are pregnant” not “my wife is pregnant”.